The Gift of Presence

Our deep wild nature remains intact no matter what outside influences have impacted our thoughts, emotions, body, and personality. It is the deepest knowing of our soul. Our deep wild nature has always been whole; it is the very heart of sovereignty and Earth. It is the wisdom that informs and breathes life into our energy, intuition, creativity, and connection to Earth and the cosmos. Breathing with this deep wild nature in meditation, mindful walking, and mindful eating is the practice that brings nourishment and balance to my everyday life. It is part of my daily routine. It expands my awareness and has taught me how to take care of my mental and emotional well-being. Through these practices, I have come to know the meaning of self-love and self-care.

Words—my voice and expression—have been my life since I was a young girl. Unfortunately, for a large part of my life, I allowed an inner censor to silence me into believing I was a dead-end writer who had nothing of value to offer the world. I became accustomed to making and keeping myself small because it felt safer. It felt too painful to face the real me because inwardly I felt flawed, unlovable. I didn’t believe that the world needed my gift of presence, my medicine, my wisdom. Grasping and holding onto things became a way of life because I harbored a fear of lack and scarcity close to my heart.

Not having enough, not being enough, not doing enough became a way of life. It felt safer to live like a captive within the confines of shame and a victim’s mentality than to step into my own creative power. Life became all about functioning, surviving, and getting by. These things defined every aspect of who I became. For me, this kind of fear was birthed from a culture and society of colonization and patriarchy as a means to control and diminish the power of voice. 

The truth is that things began to change only when I learned to acknowledge and accept the natural flow of my own life. I’ve needed to make peace with it over and over. Mother Earth has become my greatest teacher. I’ve learned to let go of the need to rigidly arrange my life. Through the practice of self-forgiveness and patience, I cultivate courage, truthfulness, compassionate mindfulness, and connection in order to rise up each day. It is what I like to call the gift of presence, a wisdom shown to me by Thich Nhat Hanh. 

When I was at Plum Village for the first time, I decided to commit myself to the five mindfulness trainings: reverence for life, true happiness, true love, loving speech and deep listening, and nourishment and healing. These principles have been the backbone to my spiritual practice and have consistently helped me maintain equanimity in life. I received a new name after the ceremony to transmit the five mindfulness trainings: Insightful Connection of the Heart. This is the ofrenda that I share with the world. By touching the earth, I honor Thay, my ancestors, the ones I love, your continuation is in me, my brother, my sister, and all the communities that are connected to each other as I live and breathe. With each breath, with each step, the most precious gift I can offer is the gift of presence. On that note, I want to share the lyrics of a song I wrote that started as a poem: 

The gift of presence 

Is the song of songs

That blossoms 

Like the dawn 

In our hearts

We sing 

With the Earth

In gratitude

Interbeing 

In the pure land

“The tears I shed yesterday, have become rain.”*

*A quote from Thich Nhat Hanh.